Erin's Day Off
by halloweengurl
Summary: Erin Takes a day off to relax and refresh. A simple story about a regular day in any woman's life.


Erin's Day Off

"... this morning on the turnpike at around 7:34 and they are still trying to find out..."

Erin reached out from under the comforter to silence the announcer on the radio. She smiled and tucked the bedspread under her chin knowing that this was Her day. One thing she learned from dealing with her newfound sobriety was 'self care'. Once a month she took a 'Me day'. A day off from work and family demands to spend doing anything she pleased. The point was to get to know herself. To start liking who she was. Most people forget to do that but for Erin's recovery it was critical.

She lay where she was, reveling in the quiet stillness of being by herself. It wasn't like this at first though, at first she had no idea what to do with herself and had found it very stressful -so much so that she called her Sponsor in a panic to ask her what to do! Danielle told her to calm down and assured her it would become easier with time.

"One day at a ...",

"I know, I know..." Erin interrupted her. "One day at a time." She had forgotten how to be at ease in her own company. For 20 years she had been busy building her career and raising her family. There had never seemed to be time to stop and think of herself. Add to that her drinking and Erin was practically a stranger to herself. But so much had changed in the past year. All of it good. Even the hard things had been good. Her confidence level had risen when dealing with the things that used to send her to a vodka haze. Several months later and things had gotten much easier.

Erin inhaled cool morning air into her lungs. Her mind started organizing the things she wanted to get done that day. Just because she was going to do non-work things didn't mean she couldn't be organized. She smiled again to herself. They could take Erin out of the office but they couldn't take the office out of Erin - so to speak. She opened her eyes and flipped back the comforter.

"Alright. We have a lot to do today." she told herself. She swung her feet out from the sheets and dug her toes into the soft carpeting as she launched herself out of bed. "Oh! I'm getting old." she complained as she took a faltering step. Getting started was always the hard part. She made her way downstairs to the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker and pop an English muffin into the toaster before turning on CNN in the living room.

"... this morning at around 7:45 am and they still don't know ..." Kate Bouldan's voice trailed off as Erin left the room to check for the morning paper. She opened her door to a beautiful blue morning, scooped up the newspaper and padded back to the kitchen just as the toaster popped up. Erin spread some strawberry jam on the toasted muffins, poured a cup of coffee and sat down on the sofa placing the paper on the coffee table. She looked up at the screen and took a sip of coffee before putting the mug down. Before she could determine what the story was all about her cell phone rang. She smiled when she looked at who was calling her.

"Good morning." she greeted him sweetly.

"Good morning to you. I didn't wake you did I?" he asked

"No, I'm up. Are you at work?"

"Just getting in. I thought I'd wish you a lovely 'Me day' before things got too hectic around here." David said.

"That's sweet of you. Thank you." she took another sip of coffee.

"Do you know what you're going to do with your day?" David asked.

"I do." she replied.

"Are we still on for tonight?" he asked a bit quieter. Erin could now hear Morgan and Spenser in the background.

"Of course. Unless you've changed your mind." She hoped he hadn't.

"Not at all! I just wanted to make sure you hadn't forgotten." She heard a little grunt come out of him as he sat down at his desk. "Oh, I'm getting old." he complained. Erin let out a little laugh. "You think that's funny do you?" He asked feigning hurt.

"No." she chucked. "I just know how you feel."

"Ok then, I'm gonna go and you have a lovely day and I'll see you tonight."

"Around 6:00 right?" she confirmed.

"With bells on." she heard him smile. "Ok, I gotta go. See you."

"See you." she said and then her phone clicked off.

Erin finished her breakfast and headed upstairs for a long, hot shower. It was part of the pampering she loved most since most mornings it was short and rushed.

An hour later she was grabbing her handbag and keys and heading out the door. Her first stop was Abigail's Clips to get her hair cut and her nails done. Parking was much easier during the week than on a Saturday although on Saturdays she could take the girls with her to get pedicures. A light pang touched her heart. She had missed a lot when she was drinking including her children and she was trying to earn back their trust. It was slow going but to his credit, her Ex was helping in that area. He encouraged them to spend time with her and never spoke badly of her in front of them. She sighed. She had loved him once for a reason. They were now better 'friends' than they had been spouses for years.

Erin stepped into the quiet salon as the door she passed through chimed her arrival, and waived to Liusa to let her know she had arrived. Liusa put her broom against the wall at the back and beckoned Erin to take a seat.

"Good morning Mrs. Strauss." Liusa greeted her warmly. Erin sat in the chair, resting her handbag on the small table beside her. Liusa gently pulled the pins out of Erin's hair and fluffed out her long tresses so that it fell to her shoulders. "How long has it been?" she asked. "These are quite long."

"It's been too long. It's been driving me crazy." Erin replied emphatically.

"Do you want just a cut? Or do you want something different?"

"Just a cut, please. And a color. I've had enough changes in my life to deal with. I need something familiar." Erin joked.

"A lot of changes? You do seem a bit different if I may say so." Liusa remarked as she ran a brush through Erin's hair.

"Yeah? I'm afraid to ask in what way?"

"Well for one, you seem a bit more relaxed. Usually you seem pensive and in a hurry but today you seem like you might even enjoy being here." Liusa said hoping she had not over stepped her bounds. Erin was quiet for a minute.

"I..." she wasn't sure what to say. "I am more relaxed these days. So far anyway." She watched as Liusa took hold of some of her hair expertly in one hand and clipped the ends off with the scissors in the other. Liusa didn't press for more - she was her hairdresser after all, not her confessor. Whatever was going on in her client's lives wasn't her business unless they wanted to talk about it and then she was all ears.

"Did you hear about what happened on the turnpike this morning?" Liusa asked in order to change the subject.

"No." Erin replied, "But I gather it was something because I kept hearing it mentioned all morning. What happened?" she asked keeping her head still.

"Something about an abandoned car and a sniper. I didn't get much more than that but I had to take a different route this morning because it was all blocked off." Liusa pressed her fingers to the left side of Erin's head to get her to turn it a bit.

"A sniper? That's serious." Erin said. She never told people what she did for a living. They only knew she worked for 'the Government'. Most thought she was in Administration and she let them think what they wanted to. It was easier than fielding a lot of awkward questions.

"No kidding." Liusa said.

Soon other clients began showing up and the salon got busier and noisier as women chatted and laughed. Erin loved her hair cut and sat quietly while another salon girl named Kim buffed and painted her nails. When she was finished she felt fresh and neat. So much better than worn and straggly. Erin paid her bill and tipped both Liusa and Kim before thanking them and heading out the door which chimed again as she left.

It was a good thing it was almost noon because Erin was hungry and it was time to meet her friend Karen Hayes for lunch. Erin pulled into traffic and headed across town to Hammonds. Traffic seemed a bit busier but she managed to arrive shortly after 12:30. Karen was already seated with a cold drink and checking her phone when Erin walked into the restaurant.

"Sorry I'm late." Erin smiled as she sat herself down across from her friend.

"That's Ok", Karen smiled back. "I haven't been here all that long. The turn pike is blocked off so there is quite a bit of extra traffic today." she took a drink of her iced tea.

"I noticed that. I thought it was just because it was lunch time though." The waitress came over and set a glass of water down in front of Erin.

"What can I get ya luv?" she asked in a heavy cockney accent.

"I'll have an iced tea as well, please." Erin answered her.

"Ok", she said looking at each of the two ladies, waving her pen back and forth. "Did ya want to order ya food now too? Or do ya need a minute?"

"I think I know what I want." Erin said turning to look at Karen to see if she needed more time.

"I'm ready as well." Karen nodded.

They placed their orders and the waitress left.

"Erin!" Karen exclaimed. "You look wonderful. Change agrees with you." she told her excitedly.

"Well I just came from the salon." Erin said.

"That's not what I meant." Karen said knowingly.

"I know." Erin almost blushed. She wasn't a woman used to getting or giving praise - although she was trying more with the kids. "Thank you." she said simply. The waitress returned with the iced tea and Erin took a long drink before setting it back down. "How is Bill?"

"He is _Not_ taking retirement well at all!" Karen said shaking her head. "He's already been trying to get details from CTU about what's going on this morning! He's on the phone pacing like he's still in charge!" Erin laughed at her friend's frustration.

The two good friends passed the time eating and catching up on Karen and Bill's life after being forced into retirement a few years before; the time spent at their home in Vermont, Karen trying to adjust to a simpler life, Bill not adjusting at all and the frustrations that brought to their marriage.

"That's enough about me and Bill." Karen said after their plates were cleared away. "Talk to me about _You_. I want to know how _You_ are doing." Karen reached out and gave Erin's fingers a little tap. Erin took a deep breath.

"it's tough." she said looking at her friend. "I've dealt with a lot of crap over the years working my way up the ladder, but this is all new to me. Be honest", she asked, "when was the last time you ever thought you'd find me taking a Personal day?"

"Probably never." Karen stated bluntly.

"Exactly." Erin nodded her head. "I'm still adjusting to all... " she said as she flipped her hand in the air, "...this."

"it looks good on you though." Karen encouraged her.

"Thank you. I am trying." Even though Karen was a close friend, it was still hard to admit to her that she still was still fighting the urge to down a few shots on a daily basis. "David helps." she admitted. Karen gave a huge grin.

"Jesus." She said, shaking her head. "I never saw That coming." she laughed.

"Yeah, me neither." Erin grinned back.

"After all the aggravation you two put each other through over the past 20 years..." she said unbelievably and let the words hang in the air.

"I know, I know." Erin stated. "We hurt each other a lot back then and I guess the only way to mask the pain was to use anger." She left out 'And alcohol.'

"How is he these days?"

"The same. Only better." Erin smiled.

"He is treating you well then? You said he was helping. In what way?"

"Just being there really." she stated. "And he checks up on me." she gave a little laugh. "He doesn't know I know it, but he does." She thought for a moment and Karen said nothing, letting her friend talk. "After a long day, he lets me rant and rave to get it all out and then when I'm done he holds me close so I can use his strength to find a balance. At least that's what it feels like he's doing. Whatever his own motives are, that's what I take away from it."

"Good. Bill and I love you Erin, and we want you to get better and get happy." Karen said lightly touching her friend's hand. "You can call us any time, you know that. Besides," she added, " I can always use a distraction from Bill."

Erin squeezed Karen's hand. "I know. Thank you. I love the two of you as well."

"Well speaking of my cloak and dagger husband", Karen said sitting up in her chair and checking her watch. "I better go make sure he hasn't caused an International incident." Erin checked her watch too, noting the time.

"Yeah, I have some shopping to do before heading home as well."

Both women stood and embraced warmly. "It's been too long Erin. I've missed you. You take good care of yourself and the four of us will have to get together soon."

"I agree. I'll call you then." Erin said. "Give Bill my love."

"I will. See you soon."

"Of course."

Erin felt a wave of gratitude for her friendship with Karen. It was one good thing that she had managed to not screw-up over the years. Feeling warm and loved, she headed out to her car for the final stop of the day.

"Groceries." she told herself. "Then home."

Knowing that she might have trouble getting home during rush hour Erin changed her original plan and headed south towards home. She was going to shop at Remark where she loved to browse but she didn't want to get stuck in the thick traffic and then be late so she opted for Foodland instead. 'I'll just go to Remark next time.' She told herself. At Foodland she picked a grocery cart, looked at her list and headed to the butcher. She took her time selecting two pieces of fatty pink salmon filets and had them wrapped up. In the fruit section she bought two lemons, a pomegranate and a large tub of raspberries. For vegetables, she found some lovely fennel and some colorful parsnips. She had enough rice in the cupboard already so all she needed was the yoghurt and she was done.

"Done." she said satisfied and made her way through the checkout to her car.

She made it home in good time. It was good to get out, but it was always better to come home. Home was no longer a reminder of her personal failures; it was becoming a refuge - a place of peace and quiet.

Erin carried her groceries inside and set them on the counter. The first thing she did was wash the fruits and vegetables and set them on a towel to dry. She checked the time, did a mental calculation about when everything needed to start cooking and decided she had enough time for a cup of tea and a relaxing sit in the living room before she got started. She put the kettle on to boil and selected an herbal tea.

Sinking down into the deep cushions if her favourite chair - one normally reserved for the Sunday morning paper, she tucked her feet up under her, laid her head back and closed her eyes. She was learning to live 'in the moment' as much as she could. It helped to keep the demons away. Demons that could come and tell you all the things you'd done wrong in your life. Regrets, shame and guilt. She couldn't change anything she'd already done; she only had power over the future. If she was going to survive this, she needed to be able to forgive herself and move on. Some things still pissed her off though. If she let them. Sometimes she let them. It could be a welcome break to feel pissed off every now and then. Seeing Karen had brought back a lot of memories of her and her ex husband. There was often a rush of different emotions when she thought of her marriage. Regret and anger being the most prominent. Regret that it failed. Anger that she had always felt she had to choose between her husband and her career. It was true she let him down enough times, but she had tried to be there for the kids. Her husband was an adult after all, he should have understood. She never made Him choose.

"Ok, Erin." she told herself. "Today is a good day. Let it go." She took a deep breath, sipped her tea and reached for the crossword puzzle in the newspaper she had left on the coffee table that morning.

Twenty minutes later her phone beeped indicating she had received a text. She checked her watch and decided it was likely one of the kids as it was almost 4 o'clock. She put down the paper and picked up her phone.

"_Hi Mom. U thr?"_ Her youngest daughter asked.

"_Hi Honey_." she responded.

"_Hows yur day?"_

"_Good. Yours?"_

"_K. Can ask a favr?"_

"_What is it?"_

"_I wan go 2 Carries on halloween n dad says I ned 2 ask u cus its yr turn. Can I?_" 'Christ.' thought Erin. 'I almost need a decipher.'

"_When is Halloween? Fri or Sat_?"

"_Fri_."

"_Ok but i want you here Fri before you head over there. Are you sleeping over?"_

"_Ya_."

"_Have her mom call me and confirm. And then I want you home before lunch on Sat_."

"_K. TY! 3 u!"_

"_Love you 2_." Warmth spread through Erin and she wished she could reach out and hug her daughter.

She noticed the time on her phone. It was time to start dinner. Erin got up, went to the kitchen and grabbed the pomegranate. "First thing's first." she said cracking open the dark purple fruit and digging out the seeds. She washed her hands immediately to remove the stains and then dumped the seeds into a bowl and the raspberries into a small pot. Dessert was going to be a pomegranate and raspberry coulis with yogurt. She put the berries on low heat with some sugar and a squeeze of half of one of the lemons. When they were heated through she blended it all together with a spoon and set them aside. Next she peeled and chopped up the parsnips and put them in a steamer. Erin unwrapped the salmon and placed the fillets skin side down on a baking pan lightly covered with olive oil. She chopped off the ends of the fennel and spread them onto the pan as well. She took her other lemon and cut it into slices which she placed on top of the salmon and covered the entire pan with aluminum foil. It was nearly 5:45 when she heard her door bell.

"Come in, Darling!" she shouted over her shoulder. Erin heard the door open and close.

"It's me Erin." David assured her, raising his voice to reach the kitchen.

"I hope so." she replied with amusement turning the stove top on to start the vegetables cooking and the adjusting the oven temperature to 375. David had taken off his shoes at the door and was laying his suit jacket over the back of a kitchen chair.

"Ah! It's good to be home." he declared. "Even if it's not my own." David stood in the middle of the kitchen and looked around at the food being prepared.

"Give me just a moment, Honey." Erin said as she slid the baking pan into the hot oven. She closed the oven door, turned around, walked over to David's waiting arms, put her arms loosely around his neck and kissed him.

"Mmmmm..." David murdered, settling his hands around her waist. "Dessert first, I like that." He kissed her again. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too." Erin smiled at him, patted his arms. "I'm still cooking, though." David let his hands drop and sat down on one of the table chairs. "What do you want to drink?" she asked.

"Have you got any coffee left?" he asked looking at the coffee maker.

"No I don't, sorry. I can make a fresh pot now though if you'd like." David thought about it.

"No, that's ok. I can wait until after. You got any tomato juice?"

"I think so." she made a move to check the refrigerator.

"That's ok, Love." David said, getting up from the chair with a small grunt. "I can do it." It wasn't long before dinner was cooked and placed in the dining room. Erin and David sat together at the end of the table and talked about their day around bites of food.

After everything was cleared from their plates they brought the dishes back to the kitchen and placed them in the dishwasher. Erin put the coffee on while David settled on the sofa and stretched his legs out under the coffee table. He grabbed the remote and turned the television on. It was still set to CNN.

"... at around 7:30 this morning causing police to block off traffic in both directions..." Karen brought the coffee in and settled in beside him.

"Did you hear about that? I heard it was a sniper." Karen asked.

"No." David replied. "it must have happened after I passed that area this morning and it was cleared by the time I came home." He leaned forward and sipped his coffee. "Do you want to watch a movie?" He started flicking through the channels.

"I don't care. You pick something and I'll just snuggle up to you." She replied contented. She moved into him as he put his arm around her. Karen sleepily kept an eye on the screen and when the show ended she turned her head and placed little kisses on his neck and along his jaw line.

"Let's go to bed." she whispered. David moved carefully to sit up. He took her hand and helped her off the sofa and led her quietly up the stairs to her bedroom. They undressed each other amid kisses and slid into the cool sheets. David turned off the lamp and reached out to bring Erin close to him. They made love slowly and when they were satisfied Erin lay at his side with her arm draped across him and her fingers caressing the hair on his chest.

"Mmmm..." She murmured. "I love you." The last thing she heard that day as she drifted off to sleep was David's whispering voice.

"I love you too."


End file.
